


Logos

by Mirime



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Manga Spoilers, One Shot Collection, Self Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirime/pseuds/Mirime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots. Mostly canon compliant. Each chapter stands on its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Basorexia

Mikasa would be the first to admit that she and Levi are not good at the traditional relationship thing. Both are private people who can be astonishingly bad at expressing themselves verbally so it is easier to communicate in other ways, mainly through the ability to read the other person’s body language that has evolved over time and after many fights fought side by side.

No, Mikasa does not mind the lack of words. There is something reassuring even in the brush of their hands as they walk side by side. She likes that when she leans against Levi in a quiet moment after a long day of training, he shifts closer and leans into her as well, trusting in her strength the same way she trusts in his.

And then there is the kissing.

Mikasa likes it a lot. The initial clumsiness of figuring out the right way to tilt heads is gone and what is left is something that leaves her feeling warm and safe and pleased and frustrated in turns. There are times when his face appears in her mind and she is overcome with a desire to see him. It is not unusual for her to sneak into Levi’s office just before lunch and kiss him thoroughly while taking a particular care to mess up his hair. She certainly has no reason to complain that his idea of retaliation is holding her back after a squad meeting to talk in private.

It is not perfect. But it does not need to be. The connection, the intimacy, the understanding, all of it is real. And that is the only thing that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _basorexia - the overwhelming desire to kiss_


	2. Susurrus

Mikasa was trying to be quiet when she opened the door but a floorboard creaked when she stepped on it and there was a rustle from the direction of Sasha's bed.

"Mikasa?" Sasha half-yawned as she started to sit up and Mikasa recalled that the other girl had had the middle watch last night.

"I'm going out for a while," Mikasa whispered, trying not to wake up Historia, too. "Go back to sleep."

"Mmmh, fine," Sasha murmured, already half-back to sleep. "Don't be long."

Mikasa didn't reply and instead slipped out quickly. The safe house was quiet this early in the morning, with the sun barely starting to peek above the horizon. The air was cold but not unbearably so and Mikasa took a deep breath. Despite the circumstances that had prompted the relocation to this distant mountain cabin, she felt more at home in here than she had back at the base. Her first years had been spent in a similar seclusion and even though her childhood home had been lost to her, staying at this place brought back many fond memories.

Shaking off her errant thoughts, she swiftly went past the cabin and the shed they used as a stable, waving to Connie and Keiji who had the early morning watch. The dirt road they had used to come here ended at the cabin but there was a trail winding into the forest and she followed it until she reached a small clearing.

Captain Levi was already there and Mikasa wondered if he had even slept. No matter how early she got up, he was always at the clearing before her.

"Captain."

"Mikasa."

Their greetings at the beginning were the only words they exchanged. After warming up and stretching, they set off jogging down the beaten track, the thump-thump sound of their feet hitting the ground the only loud noise in the vicinity. The scenery was familiar to Mikasa after almost a week and she focused on her breathing and any remaining twinges of pain from her ribcage. She had had none for the past two days, though and she felt almost back to her previous shape.

They jumped over the fallen tree, the trail taking a sharp turn left and down into a small vale. They had to slow down since the ground was covered with last year's fallen leaves and the rustling below their feet belied the danger of slipping.

The first time they had run together, Mikasa had tried to keep her pace down out of deference to Captain's injured leg. It had resulted in a withering look from him and Mikasa had known then that they had more in common than just the battle skills.

That epiphany aside, Mikasa enjoyed these early morning runs through the forest. Captain Levi never commented on her routine or whether she was pushing herself too hard, trusting her to know her own limits and she appreciated the lack of coddling.

The trail twisted again, leading up a small hill that was the three-quarter point of their morning run. The sun had come up by then and Mikasa turned her head a bit to catch its warmth. Out of the corner of her eye she could see her companion doing the same and she quickly looked forward to hide her smile.

She knew that this tranquil state of things wouldn't last forever. There would come a time when the Survey Corps would have to make a new move. A time when their squad would have to leave the safety of the cabin and risk their lives once again. But she knew and trusted the squad and she was coming to know and trust their Captain. When the time came, she would be ready to fight at her full potential, unhindered by her emotions or misgivings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _susurrus - a whispering or rustling sound_


	3. Querencia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for chapter 69 as this was based on the picture spoilers that came out this week.

Mikasa notices things about Captain Levi. At first, it was just to observe an opponent, to find a weakness that could be exploited. That has changed eventually. Nowadays she watches him out of a strange mix of respect and concern.

And that is how she comes to follow him after he hands off the serums to Hange, with just a short “Kenny had them, I took them back. He won’t be a problem anymore.”

Mikasa follows him because she knows there is more to it than what he said. She saw how tight his face was, how carefully blank, even more so than usual.

“Captain? Is something wrong?” she asks when she finds him at the top of the Wall, his back to the town and his eyes fixed on the burnt down forest beyond.

“No, nothing,” he says and still doesn’t look at her and if it was anyone else from the squad, they would leave him alone. But not Mikasa. She’s not in awe of him like others - although the awe is slowly being replaced by respect every day - and she recognizes their similarities enough to know that he’s lying right now. Something’s very, very wrong and although things are going their way for now, that can change eventually.

“Did you kill him? Did you kill Kenny?” she presses and he finally turns to face her, his eyes shadowed.

“He was already dying when I found him.”

The flat inflection of his voice is almost unnatural. People sometimes joke about him being an emotionless person but Mikasa knows how wrong that perception is.

“So you didn’t fight?” she questions and he finally shakes his head, muttering something that sounds like “right to know”.

“He said he was my uncle. My mother’s older brother. My family,” he nearly sneers the last word and Mikasa swallows hard. Kenny Ackerman has been on her mind a lot, the connection there so vague and tempting and scary, too. She wouldn’t want Kenny as her family, no matter how much she values the concept. But Kenny’s dead now and Levi is still alive and Kenny’s nephew and she wonders - hopes - that it makes them a family, too. She wouldn’t want Kenny as her family but she will take Levi as it without a second thought.

“What does that make us?” she asks and Levi looks away.

“No fucking idea. But we’re going to Mithras for Historia’s coronation and there might be something in the MP files there.”

“Okay,” Mikasa says and then adds impulsively. “I wouldn’t mind much, though. Being your family,”

“Yeah,” he agrees and his face is no longer so hard. “That wouldn’t be so bad.”

* * *

There is a whole thick file on the Ackermans. The surveillance reports, details about financial situation of various branches, the known associates of the family. The records cut off around 840 with a brief “Surveillance discontinued” note.

Mikasa’s birth is noted and she tracks down the family tree back to her great great-grandfather and follows the line from his brother down to Kenny and Kuchel Ackerman. There is no child recorded in that line but Levi stares at the names.

“Was that her? Your mother?” Mikasa asks and he nods. “Why do you think there’s no mention of you?”

He touches the paper and then rubs at it.

“She had me in the Underground. Not much record-keeping going on there.”

“So this makes us-” She counts quickly, looking over the records. “Cousins of some sort.”

“Not exactly a close family,” he remarks and she glares at him.

“Does it matter?” she demands because she doesn’t understand why he’s still like this. They are literally the last of their line, he should be glad not to be alone but he’s not and it confuses her. As much as she likes to think she knows him, she doesn’t, not really.

“Being a family doesn’t stop people from leaving you.”

Then again, maybe she does. How many family members has she already lost? There is no guarantee in their world, no assurance of keeping people you hold dear close. She clings to Eren and Armin because she’s scared to lose them and Levi pushes people away because he’s scared to lose them and neither of those approaches is right.

"But it might bring them back,” she says quietly. “It gives you strength to fight for them. And family’s about more than just blood. It’s about how much you’re willing to do, how far you’re willing to go for them and it shouldn’t matter how close you’re related or if you’re related at all and-”

She makes herself stop because he’s looking at her with the weirdest expression. There’s awe and amusement and respect and maybe a hint of “I don’t know what to do with you when you get like this because I have never seen it happen” and Mikasa feels self-conscious at that look. He has seen her angry and he has seen her calm but he has never seen her this passionate and she isn’t sure of what he will make of her speech.

“Based on that logic, every single person on the squad could be considered family.”

“They are,” she confirms and then plunges ahead while she dares. “We are. And not because of this.” She points to the file. “It’s because of what we have been through. You’re stuck with me, Captain.”

And he sighs and shakes his head and then his mouth quirks up a bit at the corners.

“At least don’t say it like a threat, Mikasa.”

* * *

Later on, when Historia is crowned and the squad goads her to punch Levi and she does, Mikasa smiles at how shocked he looks. And then he looks at the rest of them and his eyes meet hers and she knows he gets it now. They’re here to stay. They won’t be leaving him because of something he has or hasn’t done. And he will stay, too.

Levi looks down and he smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _querencia - a place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self_


	4. Chimerical

It had been simple in the beginning. Mikasa had been angry at Captain Levi and she had devised several ways how to make him pay. That stupid cravat of his played a prominent role, a good anchor for her hand to pull his face closer to her fist.

The things had changed eventually. Her anger simmered out and a reluctant sort of respect took its place. She no longer imagined the best way to pay him back for what he had done. He was still an infuriating asshole but the urge to hurt him had passed. She could even say that she started to look up to him in certain ways. His fighting style, for one, was one of the most effective she had seen and she was skillful enough to be able to emulate it.

In her observations of him, Mikasa had noticed his lack of cravat during their days in the hiding but thought nothing of it at first. She had once considered it a strategic asset that could be useful in a confrontation but since she was no longer entertaining those thoughts, it had no impact on her.

Until he started to wear it again.

The dream that night had started like so many of her previous fantasies. She would say something to him and he would reply back, her temper would flare and she would grab his cravat to pull him closer and to emphasize that she was taller than him, all for the sake of intimidation.

In her previous dreams, she had used his cravat to pull his face closer to her fist. In this dream, she fisted her hand in the fabric and dragged his face to her own until their lips were milimetres apart and then she closed that distance, too.

It startled her right out of her sleep but what was even more disturbing was her own reluctance to acknowledge the dream as a nightmare to a sleepy Sasha.

Mikasa was glad that their new duties had the squad separated from their Captain so often. She didn’t like looking at him because he once again wore the cravat on what seemed a permanent basis and it was a constant reminder of what her imaginary self did to his imaginary self using the piece of cloth.

She was sure this would eventually pass. She was sure it was just the stress and worry and anticipation as the days moved ever closer to the Shiganshina operation. She was sure-

-that Captain Levi was still supposed to be in the capitol, not at the orphanage.

For a moment, Mikasa thought she was still asleep. The man who featured so prominently in her dreams and who she had done her best to avoid recently was right in front of her. He looked like he had had a bad night, the bags under his eyes once again pronounced.

He stood in front of the room that had been assigned to him, obviously having just closed the door behind him. He must have gotten in late last night.

“Mikasa,” he said and she nodded at him.

“Captain,” she replied and that would be the end of it except her eyes landed on that infernal cravat. Later on, she would blame her sleepless nights and dreams that were not nightmares.

“Excuse me,” she said and stepped up, untying the wrinkled fabric. She smoothed it out, then deftly retied the knot, all the while keeping her eyes down. “That’s better.”

His “thank you” came with just enough delay that she realized he was probably just as surprised by her actions as she was but she would not back down.

“I’ll see you later,” she told him and then promptly turned away, the mortification catching up with her along with the gratitude that at least, she hadn’t reeneacted her dreams exactly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _chimerical - merely imaginary; fanciful_


End file.
